This is my tractor.
For those of you who care about these things (and therefore are likely to be Somebody I Don't Know - Hi ! I know nothing about tractors, but thanks for dropping by!)it is a Kioti KL 401. One actually pronounces it "coyote" - see, they were being all cute and kinda gangsta-rap-like by spelling the word incorrectly, but utilizing phonetics. Isn't that nifty?
In keeping with the whole ignore-rules-of-correct grammar, the Owner's Manual is an absolute delight of incomprehensible directions, obfuscation, discombobulation and drunken syntax.
This makes learning how to operate (a piece of machinery that will happily chew you up for breakfast in one of a dozen unpleasant ways, and is Therefore Worthy Of Respect) just a tad challenging.

So, in the interest of educational awareness, I am going to make up my own bloody manual. I shall call it "My Own Bloody Manual". Catchy, no?




A pivotal thing to learn is how to operate the wee attachment on the back of the tractor. People in these parts call it a "Brush Hog". As in "I'm brush-hoggin' the field by the woods today" or "what that field needs is a good brush-hoggin'". I call it a Really Frigging Loud Mower, or alternatively, "the-thing-in-the-back".

Given that I spent a better part of yesterday figuring out how to raise and lower the thing-in-the-back, I thought I should share with you the THREE. SEPARATE. GADGETS. That must be toyed with simply to get the damn mower to go up and down.
Clearly, men design tractors. It's time to put a woman on the task, because this is ridiculous.
Behold: